Why did Prince not have a BIG conversation?


Prince“Prince died without leaving a will” I read the headline online and couldn’t believe it. Surely someone with that amount of assets and complex life affairs would have taken care of this.

But it appears to be true, as no will has been found yet . His sister Tyka Nelson had to go to court recently to request that his affairs be managed by a trust until an executor can be named.   Potentially (and quite likely) there will be years of endeavouring to sort his estate out, and all because he didn’t have the BIG conversation.

You know, the one where you admit you are going to die one day, and you talk about it with someone close to you, and what it will mean.

My late husband and I had that conversation. It did feel very BIG before we had it. In fact, enormous – and we were scared of having it. But as I outlined in my book Gifted By Grief, it turned out to be a couple of hours of slightly macabre enjoyment. Who would have thought that?

But that’s also been reported by other couples, too.

There’s a paradox in the fact that facing up to the end of one’s life actually means you can enjoy being alive more, feel closer and more connected to loved ones and also discover the relief that arises when you have taken care of your affairs.
Which are more than a will! Once you start looking into end of life matters, you discover there’s lots to it, which is one reason people don’t even start looking in the first place.

The other is that they are scared, of course. Or denying death will ever happen; or (the most common) they’ll get around to it one day.

One day rarely comes though – until it’s too late and ‘one day’ can never come because you have died.

So I invite you now to do the opposite of what Prince did – choose to have a BIG conversation with someone close to you next week (it’s Dying Awareness Week in the UK).

Use the fact this special week is happening to open up the conversation. Tell family members you’ve been thinking about it. Get a copy of my workbook Before I Go: Practical Questions to Ask and Answer Before You Die and start to complete it.


If all this feels challenging on your own, and you’re in the UK, come to:

Glasgow on Monday 9th May for The BIG Conversation and meet me and Barbara Chalmers of Final Fling. We can answer your questions and give support.

Elgin, Moray 12-14th May for my drop in event Pushing Up The Daisies (lots of free talks and info about all matters associated with dying and death).

If you’re not near one of these events, then look out for what is being held locally.

And if you’re not in the UK, come on over and join in my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/beforeIgo/ and join in the conversations there.

Looking forward to meeting you!



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